In 2021, everyone came back out of their houses, blinking at the sunlight and unsure how to act around other people. The Horror-Thon went back too, to the movies that started everything. This year’s lineup is a list of firsts: the movie that invented the modern zombie, the one that wrote the slasher rulebook, and the silent German nightmare that set the look of every horror for a century. There’s also the ‘90s slasher with a fisherman’s slicker and a very good cast. Six movies, all of them the real thing.
THIS YEAR’S SELECTIONS
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
1
THE CRAFT (1996)
2
THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI (1920)
3
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997)
4
POLTERGEIST (1982)
5
HALLOWEEN (1978)
6
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
George A. Romero • 1968 • 1 hr 36 min • HBO Max, Peacock, Criterion Channel
10 / 10
Strangers barricade themselves in a farmhouse while the dead gather outside, and Duane Jones as Ben is the only adult in the house keeping it together. The dialogue is stiff and the blood is chocolate syrup, but the grainy black and white makes it feel like footage someone found in a barn.
The Craft
Andrew Fleming • 1996 • 1 hr 41 minutes • HBO Max, Amazon, Apple TV
10 / 10
Four Catholic school outcasts discover their spells actually work and use them on everything that makes them feel powerless. Nancy is a badass, Fairuza Balk plays her like a lit match, and Rochelle deserved a lot more screen time. The plaid skirts and chokers work even better 30 years later.
THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI
Robert Wiene • 1920 • 1 hr 7 minutes • Shudder
8 / 10
A showman and his sleepwalker come to a town fair, and the murders start that night. This is a silent movie that will not bore you: every frame looks like a painting, and it’s hard not to pause and look at the sets. Cesare, pale and dark-eyed in his black leotard, is the blueprint for every goth boy that came after.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
Jim Gillespie • 1997 • 1 hr 41 minutes • Amazon, AppleTV
8.5 / 10
Four friends cover up a hit-and-run, and a year later, someone in a fisherman’s slicker wants payback. The slicker doesn’t scare me much, but Sarah Michelle Gellar’s department store chase does. Julie screaming, “What are you waiting for?” is peak melodrama. Bonus: spaghetti straps over t-shirts and cropped cardigans, you know you’d still wear half of it.
POLTERGEIST
Tobe Hooper • 1982 • 1 hr 54 minutes • AMC+, Amazon, AppleTV
9 / 10
A family’s youngest daughter vanishes into the TV static of their brand-new California home. The clown doll, the tree, and the crawling steak made every kid, including me, scared of their own bedroom. The developer cut some serious, unforgivable corners that make you wonder about new builds.
Halloween
John Carpenter • 1978 • 1 hr 31 minutes • Shudder, AMC+, Amazon, AppleTV
10 / 10
A man in a painted-white Captain Kirk mask spends Halloween night watching a babysitter from behind the hedges. It’s slow in the best way, and Laurie wins not because she’s tough but because she’s the only one paying attention. It makes sense given she’s in a button-down and sensible jeans. The most fall-appropriate look in horror, palm trees and all.
THEY’RE HERE AWARDS
Six movies walked in, and a few walked out with awards. Some earned theirs with a body count, some with costume, and one with a single scream into the night sky. These are the official They’re Here Awards, presented live from a farmhouse with the windows boarded up.
THE “THEY’RE HERE” AWARD
Poltergeist
It named the year, and it made every kid in America scared of TV static.
I still check the foot of the bed for a clown doll.
VILLAIN WE’RE ROOTING FOR
NANCY DOWNS, THE CRAFT
You don’t need to explain yourself.
MOST DEVASTATING ENDING
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Ben survives the night. That’s all I’ll say.
BEST SET DESIGN (NOT A RIGHT ANGLE)
THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI
Jagged windows, leaning streets, and shadows painted straight onto walls.
BEST SCREAM INTO THE VOID
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
10/10 performance for standing in the middle of the street at absolutely no one.
BEST OF THE YEAR
HALLOWEEN
Mandatory viewing every October.
FINAL RANKINGS
10
10
10
8.5
8
9
6
THE CRAFT (1996)
1
HALLOWEEN (1978)
2
POLTERGEIST (1982)
3
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997)
4
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
5
THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI (1920)
Best to Worst
KEEP WATCHING
One year was never going to be enough. There is plenty more Horror-Thon to explore. Zombies, Michael Myers, demonic house cats, and more B-horror movies than you knew existed.